Did I just say that???
I also like to do things my way. If you nuke the butter to make it soft, you better damn well know that butter softens in 11 seconds. If you hit it with 30 seconds, and it becomes a soupy puddle, be prepared to field either a snarky comment or a dirty look. I'm not proud of this part of me.
|Bread knife good (top); paring knife bad (bottom)|
She does WHAT? Buy garlic bread already made? An item to which you simply add garlic butter, and she's got to buy it to make sure it has mylic acid and hydroxypropyl methylcellulose? Really? OK. I may be a kitchen bitch, but I can damn well make garlic bread without resorting to Pepperidge Farm.
1. Go to any ubiquitous grocery store and buy some bakery bread. Hell, even 7-11 sells a halfway decent French baguette or Italian loaf.
2. Soften 1 stick of butter. The EASIEST way to soften butter is to remember in the morning that you plan to make garlic bread later in the day, and to take the stick out of the refrigerator to let it soften for a few hours. If you forget, microwave a cold stick of butter in 5 second increments until you know your microwave and know how long it takes to get butter soft. You won't ever turn your butter into a soupy mess this way.
4. Slice your loaf or baguette with a bread knife, 3/4 inch slices, a bit on the diagonal.
5. Place the cut bread on a large sheet of aluminum foil--shiny side on the outside. My lovely niece had the gumption (even after the paring knife debacle) to ask me why the shiny side had to be on the outside. Two reasons: (1) it's prettier; and (2) it better distributes the heat. Deep breaths, deep breaths.
6. Spread the garlic butter on both sides of each slice of bread. If, however, your "helpful guest" nuked the butter for 30 seconds, just go ahead and sigh a big sigh and drizzle the garlic butter over each slice with a spoon. It works well enough.
7. Wrap the bread in the aluminum foil and bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes.
8. Admit your bitchiness; say your penance, and then revel in the flavor that is so delightfully unadulterated with chemicals and preservatives.