Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A Dip at the Beach

I'm on vacation this week.  I've long ago learned that when a vacation is turned into an excuse for gluttony, an odd things happens:  I enjoy neither my vacation or the food that I've stuffed into it.  There's something about being hungry that makes food taste better, and there's something about not feeling like a fat tub of goo that makes vacations more enjoyable.  Thus, even on vacation, when the mantra for indulgence is "What the hell; I'm on VACATION," I try to moderate. 

That is, of course, until I encountered Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip.  The first bite triggered some sort of neurological connection between my brain and mouth that caused my hand to reach uncontrollably for a tortilla chip upon which I could gob my new addiction.  It might as well have been crack.  I couldn't get enough of the stuff, but given that my niece made a massive vat of it, I had no need to worry.  Don't pretend for a minute that there is anything in the least bit nutritionally redeeming about this fare.  It is made with processed meat, two kinds of cheese, and artificial flavorings.  It glows bright neon orange in the bowl, but I'm drawn to it nonetheless like a moth to a flame.   I can feel my thighs thicken and my arteries harden with each oh-my-God deliciously evil bite, but . . . oh what the hell, I'm on vacation.

Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip

1.  Two 10-ounce cans of chicken breast.  (Yep.  Canned chicken.  It isn't exactly Spam, but it works better than real chicken because it comes already shredded and salted).

2.  Two 8-ounce bricks of cream cheese.

3.  One cup of Ranch dressing.

4.  3/4 cup of Frank's Hot Sauce.  (I don't know who Frank is, but we all owe him a debt of gratitude).

5.  Three cups of grated cheddar cheese.

6.  Glob all of the above into a large saucepan and place on moderately low heat until it melts.  Stir to completely blend, and add more hot sauce according to taste.

7.  Serve with tortilla chips, and remember with relief that Weight Watcher's will still be there when you get back from vacation.


  1. I love you but Good Lord that sounds horrible!

    and a question: what wine goes with this?

    The Pie Guy

  2. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. We called it crack for a reason. This isn't a wine kind of food. Beer; for this dish you need an almost frozen cold one.