You've Come a Long Way, Baby

My husband is learning to cook and much to my amazement, he isn't half bad.  The fact that he has discovered the crock pot helps.  Cooking is a breeze when all you have to do is throw a bunch of stuff in one pot, turn it on, and walk away.  Still, he deserves credit for making progress. When he was single, his entire repetoire pretty much consisted entirely of oatmeal, minute rice with canned tuna, and for variety, he'd make a Lean Cuisines.   He could  also microwave a potato.  Garlic was  "ethnic."

The refrigerator of his bachelor days sported a bottle of French's mustard, a six-pack of Guinness, and lefover pizza.  Frankly, that refrigerator was the only way I knew he wasn't gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).  In my defense, he dressed really well, and collected antiques.  What can I say?  My prior boyfriend had thumb-tacked a Patriots bath towel to his window for a curtain, so the fact that my husband had insulated drapes that matched a Queen Anne wing-back armchair gave me pause.  I think I let out an audible sigh of relief when I opened that refrigerator door.   The poor guy didn't know how to make a sandwich, but thank the good Lord, he was straight!!

For the past 16 years, we've had a fairly egalitarian marriage:  I do all the cooking and he does everything else.  Unfortunately, with that crock pot he has recently caught on that cooking isn't as difficult as he feared.  He has discovered the joy of cranking up the tunes while you stir, chop, and saute--particularly if it means that someone else has to do the dishes, the laundry, the yard work,  pay the bills, and take the kids to soccer.  Damn.  I should take a hammer to that crock pot.  I've had it GOOD.

Slow Cooked Lamb & Beans
Courtesy of Wegman's  (Actually, I'm inferring such courtesy by the fact that they publish a quarterly recipe magazine ).

1.  Dust 4 lamb shanks with flour, salt, and pepper.  Wegman's features a pre-made "pan searing flour" that's really quite handy.  ( Oh come on, if I'm going to plagiarize Wegman's whole-cloth, the least I can do is make a few cheap plugs for some of their merchandise).

2.  Sear the lamb in a sauce pan coated with about 2 Tbsp of olive oil, heated over medium-high heat.  Brown on all sides--about 8-10 minutes.  Transfer the lamb to a crock pot.

3.  Add 8 oz of Wegman's cleaned and cut mirepoix to the pan--OR--save yourself about $4.00 and chop into a small dice: 2 carrots, 2 celery stalks, and one small onion.  ( The pre-cut mirepoix is outrageously expensive; I do have some ethical standards.  Of course, new cooks like my husband get intimidated when they see an ingredient in French, and Wegman's knows how to exploit such naivety.  Cunning buggers, those Wegman's folks.)  Saute until the vegetables are tender.

4.  Add one bay leaf and one cup of dry white wine.  Reduce until the mixture is a little thick.

6.  Add 6 Tbsp of flour.

7.  Transfer mixture to the crock pot with the lamb.  Add:  the zest of one lemon, the juice of one lemon, 3 cans (15.5 oz each) of cannelli beans, 1 28 oz can of roma tomatoes with basil, and 32 oz of chicken stock. 

8.  Cook on HIGH for 5-6 hours, or on LOW for 8-10 hours.  (A dish that only requires one temperature setting appeals to novice cooks.)

9.  Stir in 1 tsp rosemary and 2 tsp thyme just before serving.  Salt and pepper to taste.  Ooh and aah over your husband's efforts.  Tell the little lad how fetching he looks barefoot and in the kitchen.

Easter Lamb

Easter is my husband's holiday.  He just loves it.  He loves that the dogwood are out and the daffodils are up.  He loves jelly beans, and will actually eat them--even the black ones.  He loves that the days are warm and long and once again he can sit outside and stare mindlessly into the woods from our porch.  He loves that he gets to enjoy a great meal and didn't have to buy anyone a present.  And this year, more than any other, he loves that after 46 days of Lent, in which he OMG--gave up WINE, he can once again imbibe.   The pressure is on to make it a special day.

And so I did.  I just spent two solid days getting ready for Easter, and one cleaning up afterward.  My hands are raw and sore from polishing, washing, ironing, paring, chopping, and cutting.  For kicks and giggles I wore a pedometer; in one day I clocked in at just under 14,000 steps, which is about 5.0 miles, and I never left the house.  I am tired--bone tired.   My feet hurt so much that they literally awakened me from a dead sleep.  I wish I knew what they were screaming, but I think I know anyway.  My feet are telling me that I'm a stupid idiot.  "Stupid, stupid idiot; next year, buy some Big Macs, Budweiser, and call it a day."  Admittedly, my feet have a point.

Aah, but my heart.  My heart is telling my feet to simply shut the hell up and remember the day:  a day surrounded by my family and the dearest of friends--synonyms perhaps?   My heart is remembering that every guest offered to help and contributed to the feast in some way.  My heart will remember that my father, who's 79-year-old feet must be much more cantankerous than mine, followed me dutifully around the kitchen anxious to assist however he could.  My heart will remember the 2002 vintage reserve champagne that friends brought for my husband to break his Lenten fast, and which he shared with me because, well--I'm his wife.  My heart will remember beating the hollandaise until my arm hurt and being gratefully relieved when my oldest daughter took over, who was then in turn replaced at the beating ritual by my youngest daughter, only for my oldest to come back again and ask:  "Really, Mom--is this worth it?"  And as I watched my husband over her shoulder revelling in his Easter, my heart knew with absolutely certainty--Yes.  It's worth it.  Truly, utterly, and completely worth it.

Easter Lamb (Gourmet, April 1996, p. 146).

1.  Blend the following in a blender to make a paste:  1/4 cup olive oil, blanched lemon zest, 1/4 cup rosemary leaves, 3 large cloves of garlic, 1/2 tsp salt.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Cut several small slits all over a 7 pound de-boned leg of lamb. Smear the paste all over the lamb, and rub the paste into the slits.

3.  Remove the pith (white stuff between the fruit and skin) from two large lemons.  Slice the lemon cross-wise, remove any seeds, and arrange the slices in the middle of a large roasting pan.  Place lamb in the oven for 45 minutes.

4.  Meanwhile cut and quarter about 5 pounds of potatoes.  (The actual recipe calls for 2.5 lbs, but I've been making this dinner for 15 years, and that's just not enough.)  Cover with one inch of water, bring to a boil, and cook the potatoes for 5 minutes.  Drain and toss generously with olive oil (about 1/4 cup). 

5.  When the lamb comes out of the oven after 45 minutes, arrange the potatoes around the lamb and continue roasting for 55 more minutes. 

6.  Transfer lamb to a cutting board, and let it stand for 15 minutes. 

7.  Toss the potatoes in the pan juices, increase the oven temperature to 500 degrees, or set on "broil" and return the potatoes to the oven for about 5 to 10 minutes to get them slightly golden.  Transfer potatoes to a serving bowl and toss with about 1/4 cup of freshly cut chives. 

8.  Slice lamb into servings.  The ends will be well-done, and the middle will be rare to medium rare.  Serve with potatoes, asparagus and hollandaise sauce on your best china because this is a very, very special day.